i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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