god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
