id be glad to
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
