Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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