fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
