remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How does it feel to date your dad?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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