Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize