I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
