What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
