Sponge bath it is.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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