I looked at my own cervix.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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