Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had to cum in my sink.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
