walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
