i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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