how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
