You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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