just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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