I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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