Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
