giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
