actually, I'm a sock model
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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