I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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