i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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