do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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