hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
