all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she told me i tasted like america
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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