No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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