i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
