Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
