All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
