I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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