i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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