how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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