God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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