omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
