All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize