All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
