Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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