I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is my gift to your gina
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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