i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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