farters have to be the big spoon...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
