we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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