I heard we made out
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
