You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
