What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
smell my finger.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I deserve this hangover.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
