12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
