I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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