i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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