haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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