Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Operation Purity has been aborted
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
