Sry I called you an 8
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
