I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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