did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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