You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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